I am forty one years old. I would say that, certainly, the majority of my life I have not talked bad about people. I am naturally an optimist and I like “reaching across the aisle”. Through my maturity, and even before then, I have tried to find things in common with people who are different from me.
At a certain point, though, I felt I got attacked, ideologically. Perhaps it was because I am mixed race. I tried and tried to not take it personal, and I still don’t take it personal, but in my defense I had to “put my feelers” out and see if I could get a reaction to find out who these people “attacking” my person were.
While I was trying to understand, and during my defense, I said things that are not true to my person, true to who I am. I insulted and was rude.
I have to admit, it was directed and the purpose was to see if my hypotheses were true in who I felt the culprits were who were “passive-aggressively” attacking me.
I would like to apologize for being rude. I know better than over-generalizing and this was my technique I used to see if I could get the wrongs to stop.
I figured the wrongs must cease “within” that culture, a culture that I am not in or a part of.
The extent of my insults were directed towards, I feel, “mis-representatives” of groupings of people, and was more like me cursing these bad people out loud… but I feel in person I don’t have issues with people… it is an “inter-dimensional”, “inter-cultural”, “inter-time”, and “inter-space” issue, NOT at face value… perhaps with technological barriers to bridging the gaps, too.
I feel my defensive reaction left as minimal collateral damage as possible, but the question still remains: how does one most effectively and efficiently, causing as minimal damage as possible, defend one’s self?
Anyways, please do not feel insulted from me. I am positive with a little effort from us both, if you were affected from my defensive reaction, we could find some things similar between each other, more similar than otherwise.
I have apologized before, almost regrettably because some folks see kindness and vulnerability as weakness. These people are just not like us… but it’s worth a try to make things right and to right wrongs that have occurred.
We are all connected, one human family.